I wrote this article a few years ago to inspire a few of my single friends to go out and meet women. I believe it can benefit you if you’re still learning how to approach women. This was mainly written for guys who are trying to meet women in bars, clubs, and lounges so please keep that in mind while you’re reading.

If you are new to the approaching women thing, you’re probably wondering what the best approach is. Should you go direct or indirect? Should you come in fast or slow? Should you use a something rehearsed or be spontaneous? Well to tell you the truth, there is no one correct way. But if you want to increase your chances of success…go in with masculine presence and power! Go in STRONG!

Most of the time, I approach fast and strong. There is no, “Let me get the angle right” or “Let me think of the perfect thing to say” or “Let me time this just right”

Nope!

None of that!

I go in hard and strong. Like a F*%!ng Japanese kamikaze ready to die in the blaze of glory. No worries…no excuses…no remorse! What’s the worst that can happen? Rejection?!?

Ahaaaaaaaaa, the big R word! Such a scary word. It’s the only one that turns grown men into cowards. REJECTION!!! Just hearing that word makes most men cringe.

I’ve seen quite a few rejections in my day. I recall two really bad ones.

The first was a marine who fought in two wars. This guy killed men with his bare hands. He timidly approached a woman and got crushed by the rejection. He was incapacitated for the rest of the night. Man down!

The second was a highly successful business man. He tried to buy his way into a woman’s good graces. He kept buying drinks for this cute redhead and her female friends at the bar. Near the end of the night, she left with some dude that she’d just met. “Thanks for the drinks Richie, but I’m going to go home to get pounded by this other guy. Laters!”

Why did this happen?

These men were afraid of rejection! They both approached women with fear and neediness. They were afraid to go up and say, “Here I am! This is me!” They feared the rejection before it happened. That’s why I think the fear of rejection is one of the biggest obstacles to learning how to approach women. That fear hinders you from being yourself. But how do you cure that?

By making an approach and continuing to approach women until you’re comfortable doing it.

And if you are going to approach a woman (and she is not in a big group), go in hard. Go in like you are going to knock over a football player. This doesn’t mean you should physically sprint like you are going to go up against a linebacker. It just means that you should be mentally solid. No fear! You are going to talk to her. If she says she is not interested in you, she can leave or tell you to f*#& off. But you do not fear the approach and you certainly do not fear her. You are a man, so go in like a man! If rejection happens, it happens.

One day you will die and it won’t matter – so live life like a man while you are still here.

Now here is the paradox. You’d think that if you approach a woman like this you would get rejected, but quite the opposite happens. When you go in hard, it demonstrates so many good things about you – you are confident, you are strong, you don’t fear rejection, you have presence, and you are unique. You just did what 99% of guys won’t do!

Sure she can still reject you, but your chances of rejection decrease dramatically. Why? Because you went in like a man. If she still rejects you, she was eventually going to do it anyway – you lost nothing by going in strong. Dilly-dallying about asexually, keeping it strictly friendly, not touching her while telling her cool stories about yourself would NOT have helped you (trust me, I’ve tried it).

Contrary to what you may have heard, your first impression matters more than you think, but I will save that for another time.

I can hear you now, “So enough theory man, give us some examples.”

When I go to bars or lounges I always try to find out where the seating areas (chairs and couches) are located because I usually plan to bring girls back there later on in the night. But sometimes I get giddy with excitement because a cute girl is already sitting down.

So what do I do?

I quickly approach and semi-sit on the girl’s lap. I don’t use my full weight  (I support my weight with my own leg strength) but basically I’m sitting on her lap. It’s usually a surprise for her. The first thing out of my mouth is “Hello, how are you?” Sometimes I follow it up with, “So I kind of want a pony for Christmas.” I know it sounds silly, but always had it lead somewhere.

Other times, I’ll approach girls who are walking in my direction on the street on the way to the bars. I’ll stick out my hands and try to stop them and get them to change directions with my hands around their waists. This one requires a bit more preparation (and has a lower success rate) because sometimes they want to walk around you (since you are a strange guy on the street), but I try to stop them and talk to them just the same.

Sometimes I’m at the bar and I see a girl across the bar and I just go right up to her and ask her how she is doing. Usually I’m really close to her face looking into her eyes.

To sum it up, I want to say that there is no such thing as a perfect approach. If you are going to go up to women there will be some rejections, but they are far and few in-between all the successful approaches (especially when you get better at conveying your personality).

Well I hope this has been motivational and educational for you. That’s what I strive for. Let me know if you have any questions on how to approach women. If you do, you can ask me using the comment section below.

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I asked my readers to respond to the video I posted on masculinity and I have to say I’m pretty pleased with the responses. Before I go over how Louie could have dealt with the confrontation, I would like to take a moment to give him credit for a few things he did right.

At the beginning of the clip Louie and his date have just finished having dinner. When they come out of the restaurant, she compliments him on his selection and seems somewhat impressed that he “knows all the good places.” He doesn’t take it too seriously and makes a joke out of it saying, “I’ve been alive for a while and I like to eat.” He asks her to grab a drink, but her attraction for him is kind of weak. At the same time, she has a genuine concern because she’s working in the morning – so she declines the drink offer. Louie could have given up here, but he’s persistent and asks her if she wants to go grab some doughnuts.

In the next segment, we see them building rapport and becoming more comfortable with each other. They are laughing and she’s touching him. Things are going well and you can see her attraction for him increasing. But then the high school jocks come in. They start making noise and then the confrontation takes place. So what could Louie have done differently to prevent the date from turning into a disaster?

A lot of things. But Louie’s main problem is himself. He’s not a masculine man that can get any woman he wants. In fact, on this very date, he kind of stumbled into getting the woman to go with him. Louie’s problem goes beyond what happened in this clip, it’s deeper. He’s not an attractive man. He is a weak man.

Having said that, I think Louie’s problem started when he said the sarcastic and somewhat rude “Thank You.” The tonality in which he said “Thank You” not only irked the antagonist, but me as well. Louie could have been a little more genuine, instead he was showing his frustration by using a sarcastic “Thank You.” He also said it in a way as if to communicate dominance, something he clearly doesn’t possess. He isn’t dominant in his daily life and he was posing as a dominant guy in this situation. When you POSE as a dominant male, you will be tested!

But let’s say for a second he had been more polite, what if the bully still came over? What then?

Well in this situation Louie had a few options:

1. He could have gotten up, grabbed his date, and left the restaurant. This would not have been effective way of dealing with the situation and would have resulted in the same outcome. His date would have lost attraction for him. At the same time, the bully could have followed him outside and probably beaten him up in some alley.

2. Louie could have started a fight with the bully. Even if the kid is an athlete, Louie has at least 50 lbs him. Maybe Louie would not have won the fight, but he would have at least stood up for himself. Although this seems like the right answer and it still would have been better than groveling, it would have led to the woman losing attraction because he’s starting a fight. So fighting the bully would have been a dating mistake.

3. Louie could have stood up for himself. This was probably Louie’s best option. When the bully said, “If you ask me nicely” Louie could have said, “No” in a calm confident tone of voice. Yes, there is a small risk that the bully would have still hit him, but even if that happened, he would be justified in fighting back in self defense. By standing up for himself and he would have shown that he is not afraid of confrontations. Even if a fight ensued, he would not have lost the attraction of his date and she may have even helped him if he was on the losing side of the battle.

As you can see after Louie grovels, his date becomes completely turned off. Even though she can LOGICALLY justify what he did, EMOTIONALLY she is turned-off and feels like he is a “loser.” Why? Because if he can’t stand up and defend himself from a punk kid, how is he going to protect her and her children against everything else? Again, it’s not a logical decision, this is something she just feels at her core. It’s also something she can’t get past. Even though she tries to justify his actions, she can’t get past what he did.

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Masculinity

by JS

The term masculinity is defined as “possessing qualities or characteristics considered typical of or appropriate to a man.” But what are the characteristics of a masculine man? I believe a masculine man possesses these characteristics:

  • Confidence
  • Sense of humor
  • Strong eye contact
  • Good body language
  • Loud clear speaker
  • Leader (leads interactions)
  • Dominant (not aggressive or dominating)
  • Strong (beliefs and reality)
  • Self reliant (not needy – sexually or emotionally)
  • Interesting
  • Comfortable (anywhere)
  • Positive (optimistic)
  • Always learning
  • Unpredictable
  • Uncontrollable (a challenge)
  • Sexual skills
  • Follows his OWN standards thus is INTERNALLY VALIDATED
  • Does not look for approval from others
  • Does things because that is part of who he is
  • Persistence

Conveying these characteristics, makes women feel attraction for the man who is displaying them. The more characteristics you posses, the stronger a woman will emotionally respond to you. The characteristics above are literally the keys to attracting a woman.

In the video below, you will see an example of what happens when a man fails to be masculine. After the video ends, I want you to take a few minutes and think of what you would have done in the main character’s situation. Leave your response in the comment section. I will make a follow up post giving a few examples of how the protagonist could have reacted and which reaction would have been the most appropriate.

Remember to leave a comment stating what you would have done in his situation!

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Get A Girl To Take Naked Pictures

If you are reading this, you’re probably looking for some tips on how to get a girl to take naked pictures. Although I’m not as skilled as a Playboy photographer, I do have a nice collection I’ve built up over the years. Below are the things that have worked for me.

Don’t Make Sex Into A Big Deal – Believe it or not, the more important sex is to you, the less you will get of it. If you are horny, needy, or desperate for SEX – girls will sense it like sharks sense blood in the water. This will make anything related to sex (aka – naked pics) an uphill battle for you. So don’t be insistent or pushy – have that, “I can take it or leave it” attitude.

Alcohol - Although I don’t drink it anymore, alcohol is quite effective at lowering inhibitions. Having a drink or two puts you and the girl in a more calm, relaxed, pleasant, and suggestive mood. A mood where anything can happen. At the same time it offers girls an excuse to get crazy and let out their wild side. I’ve had girls say they would “never” take naked pictures, then we had a couple of drinks and they started taking off their own clothes. When I asked them about it later, they gave the old “I was drunk” excuse. They weren’t drunk, they only had 2-3 drinks, but they used “drinking” to excuse their behavior.

Make Sure Your Environment Is Comfortable – When asking to take naked pictures of a woman, you should be in a comfortable place. Preferably a bedroom where it’s not too cold or hot. You want her to feel comfortable staying naked. This is not set in stone, but I know that when the room is cold girls quickly get under the sheets or put their clothes back on.

Start Small – If you want to end up taking naked pictures of a girl, you should first start small. Compliment her on a great physical feature she has and ask her if you can take a quick picture of it. For example, “You have the most beautiful breasts I have ever seen, I want to take a picture of them.”

Time It Right - Timing can make or break the whole sexy pics thing, so try to discuss it when she’s in a good mood or when she’s half dressed. Maybe after you’ve just had an amazing sex session or when you’re both in her bed and she’s wearing some sexy short shorts. The important thing is to discuss it first. Another words, don’t just get out your phone and start snapping away, tell her what you want to do first and then let her reactions guide you from there.

Gain Her Trust – Tell her no one will ever see the pictures, except for her and you. Let her know that you want the pic(s) because seeing her naked turns you on. I know it can be tempting to let your friends see the pics, but if you want this to be a repeat event – don’t share them with anyone. I know how bad you probably want to show off to your boys, but that’s a risk because one of them could tell her about it.

Make It Fun – Once she allows you to take a picture, make it fun for her. Tell her to pout, make a sexy face, blow you a kiss, etc. If you’re both having fun, a woman’s naughty side will gradually come out. You can even pretend she’s a model and you’re a photographer. You know – role-play!

Show A Sign Of Good Faith – Ask her to chose her favorite out of all the pictures you took. Then go through the pics and show her your favorite. Tell her only those two will be kept. Proceed to delete the rest of photos while she is with you. This will ensure there are only a couple of naked pictures and that the experience was something you both enjoyed. It will also build trust for future photo shoots.

Troubleshooting:

If she has objections you will have to address them. Here are some of the most common objections and ways of dealing with them.

Moving Too Fast

If a woman says that she does not know you and that you are moving too fast, it’s usually a comfort issue. You will need to make her feel more comfortable. She is rejecting the idea because, she does not know enough about you. She really doesn’t know if you will share the pictures with others or keep them to yourself. Since she is unsure, she will decline to pose naked.

In this case, you need to back off. Tell her, “We don’t have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, let’s just chill.”  Then proceed to tell her more about yourself (share stories, experiences, etc). Basically build more of a connection. Depending on how she feels afterwards, you can try again or wait until some other time. You will have to use common sense and see if she is open to the idea. If not, don’t push it. I had a few times where a girl initially said no. I didn’t push it and a few days later she brought it up. So yeah.

Is Afraid Someone She Knows Will See Them

Tell her it’s cool and that you won’t take a picture of her face, just her body. This should disarm her objections since no one will be able to recognize any of her intimate areas unless they are already familiar with them.

If she still insists that she doesn’t want to, then there is another issue. Maybe she’s not comfortable enough yet or maybe she does not trust you or maybe she does not want you to have them. Back off and tell her it’s ok. Don’t push things, just slowly probe her with a few questions and try to read in-between the lines.

She Says She’s Taken Them Before And The Guy Shared Them With Everyone

In this case, get on your computer and “Google” them, they’re already on the internet! Just kidding. In this instance it’s definitely a trust issue. Basically she was open to it before, but because some guy wasn’t able to keep the pics to himself, he ruined it for everyone else. So just work on building more trust.

Again, start small and don’t make it into a big deal. Tell her something like, “Well, I’m not like other guys, I’m not interested in the typical sexy pics. (switch to sexual tone) I want a pic of your…(pause)… ankle, and then…we will move to your amazingly sexy…(pause)…elbow! Oh yes.”

Keep it light and fun, then snap a photo of her ankle. Then tell her to pose her elbow. Proceed to tell her, “I promise to keep these very sexy pics to myself without sharing them. It will be challenging, but I will do this for you. If I do this successfully for a week, we will take even sexier ones. Deal?” If she is not laughing by now, move on because she is probably a prude. You probably won’t have to wait a week, you can try pushing the envelope with, “No, wait, I must have one of the jaw as well. Yes, very nice. And the shoulders. Amazing! Oh, wait, what do we have here? The ladies, yes, they are twins, just one quick one. Yes, good. Nice.”

Hope I’ve given you something to think about. If you have any other questions, hit me up in the comments section below.

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Many of my friends don’t think so. They don’t believe they can improve their dating lives at all, let alone imagine that you can learn how to attract women at will. They think I am naturally skilled. It certainly appears that way. When I approach women, it looks easy. And it should – I’ve been practicing for over 10 years. I can spot the subtle signs that a girl likes you.

I’ve told some of my friends that I was a virgin up until my twenty-first birthday, but they thought I was joking. Most of them said, “You were born with these skills, we weren’t.” Saying I was born with the skills to attract women is like saying Tiger Woods was born with the skills to be a great golfer. Neither is true. We both practiced. A lot!

And that’s the good news. No matter who you are and what your situation is, you can learn to attract women. It may take you a few weeks, a few months, or a few years – it all depends on you. Like I said in the secrets to meeting women post - we are all different.

If you are in your late forties, you are going to have a harder time approaching, talking to, and attracting women in their early twenties. Your age will hinder you to some extent, but it should not stop you. You’ll just have to work a bit harder than a young buck.

If you are overweight, you are going to have a harder time sparking attraction when you first approach a woman. It will be a bit harder for you than it is for a guy who’s in really great shape. Doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

If you are short, girls will make it more difficult for you to talk to them. You may need to make more approaches in order to find a woman who will not care about your height. Still, you will find her.

No matter what your current dating situation looks like, you can improve it. Take it from me, it can be done. You just have to believe it and start practicing. Learning how to attract women is like any other skill – the more you practice, the better you become.

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The 3 Biggest Secrets To Having An Overabundance of Women In Your Life

The dating and seduction industry is a billion dollar industry. There are thousands of books, videos, and seminars produced every year that target struggling lonely men who want to learn how to attract women. Almost all of these products offer solutions in the form of techniques, strategies, or tactics. While these products sound like the […]

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The 21 Biggest Dating Mistakes Men Make

I’ve been in and out of the dating scene for over fifteen years now and I continually see guys making the same mistakes over and over and over and you guess it, over again. Most of them aren’t bad guys, but they are a little too naive and more than a bit misguided by the […]

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