Today I want to talk about why you need to overcome adversity. Why you need to go through hardship. Why you need to be challenged by obstacles.
Adversity builds you up into a person that is strong, resilient, and most of all very certain of himself.
But most people want to take the easy way out.
“Oh, I don’t want rejections.”
“I just want all women to like me.”
“I want to get this special girl.”
“I want to buy this program that promises a quick fix.”
“I want to take this boot camp that just makes everything so much easier.”
“I want to just be spoon fed all the knowledge so I can then magically get this one girl I really like.”
“I want a lot of girls to flock to me.”
Well, okay, let’s just say you find a genie that magically grants your wishes. All of a sudden you have girls that are hanging out with you! All of a sudden you’re surrounded by cute or hot girls.
Let’s even say that somehow the genie makes it so you have a girlfriend and she’s exactly what you want.
You think that is ideal, right?
You think, “Hey, it’s great. I got girls now. I got my hot girlfriend. Now everything’s good in my life. I can move on to the next chapter, start a business, make money, devote myself to my health, or traveling” or whatever it is you want to do. You think you’ve got this part handled.
Well, let me tell you what happens next.
One day you’re going to meet a rare guy (but they’re out there) and he will come up on you and your girl.
Some people call these guys “naturals,” some people call them “players”. And because of his behaviors and how certain and confident he is in himself, he will elicit attraction in your girlfriend. And your girlfriend, which you didn’t have to work for, which you didn’t earn, will all of a sudden be more attracted to him than she is to you.
Now besides this player, you may also meet someone like me.
A guy who undertook so much rejection, who spent so much time thinking about this stuff, and who obsessed over seduction so much that he is a black belt at it. Picture that guy coming up to your girl.
How fast do you think someone like that will take your girl off for you? I’m not saying it’ll happen every time. But you’re insecurity will help him do it.
Why will you be insecure?
Because you know you can’t get another girl like her. Deep down you know somebody gave her to you.
You see, when I give my analogy of the Hanzo sword and of you taking so many rejections that forge you into something that cuts through steel, it’s not a joke.
You can’t shortcut overcoming the adversity you need in order to grow into a more attractive person.
Just like a Hanzo sword has been beaten and flattened so much that its density has become so strong that nothing you put up to it can match it – it’s the same with your character when you undergo rejections. The type of man that you become over time cannot be stopped. You cannot lose. You will be successful due to your perseverance.
Now if you just want to sit on the couch and tell yourself pretty stories like, “Hey, I’ll get a girl someday” that’s up to you. Sure, you might somehow stumble into a relationship, but that girl is going to be out the second she meets a guy who is more certain than you. More confident, more non-needy, or higher value.
As a quick tangent, I can’t stress enough the importance of being non-needy. Your ability to walk away is like your best card. It’s basically the equivalent to her vagina. If she is tempting you with her vagina and saying you’re not going to get any more of this, you have to have the power to say, “Well, I’m gonna walk away from this.” That’s the biggest factor in keeping her around. Knowing you can get another girl like her. 99% of guys know they can’t easily replace a woman so they will never truly be non-needy.
I am not like 99% of other guys. I’ve been at that stage of my life though. But now I don’t care anymore because now I know I’ll be able to get another girl. I am like the freaking sword of steel that has been forged by hammer after hammer after hammer. I compare the hammers to rejection and continually getting knocked down, beat down, flattened and having to get back up.
And shouting, “No, you will not stop me! I will keep getting up. I will keep going!”
That’s what builds character, that hardship, that adversity, that pain. If you can endure it for a little while, you’ll become unstoppable. But it sucks when you’re there. It sucks bad. It really does. I empathize with you. It’s such a shitty feeling. Sometimes you have such rough days and bad nights. Sometimes you feel like you’re going to cry.
Maybe you do cry at times and that pain, that ability to wake up the next morning and say, “Nope, not going to give up! We’re going to go out there and I’m going to dominate this world!” Your character will gradually grow and you will get better and better.
But you can’t get there without taking action and overcoming the adversity. The harsh reality is that a lot of guys give up. Lots of swords break. They’re just made for show.
I know guys that brag, “Oh, yeah, you know, I go to the gym, I’m buff. I’m strong. No fear!” And the moment a fight is about to break out, they shit themselves.
I seen it first hand. In 2015, when I was back in the United States and went to my old college, I almost got into a fight at a bar. There is this popular bar on Tuesday nights. Really nice. A lot of college students were there, and there were lots of pretty girls. Lots of pretty 21-23 year olds.
I remember meeting this one girl who was taking social studies or something like that. Some feminist liberal type college degree. I was avidly reading about Trump at the time and although I didn’t tell her I was a Trump supporter, my views were very in tune with his patriarchal thinking.
She was slowly realizing it, and she didn’t like that so she kept challenging me. She continuously shit tested me and at one point she got kind of pissed off and started shouting. Now there was this pretty boy there. He was really good looking and he came in white knighting.
He asked, “Is this guy bothering you?” And she responded, “Yeah, his views blah, blah, blah. He’s just not a forward thinker!” I remember she said, “He’s not a forward thinker!” and I just kind of hung back. When the guy look at me I just shrugged my shoulders like, “Yeah, so?” And the dude said something trying to be alpha. It was something to challenge me.
Then his boys came up to me. They were more aggressive. I guess because they were trying to show that they could be dominant too. There were three of them. These guys were all jacked. I mean, I’m pretty muscular, but I wasn’t built like them.
But you know what I did have? Experience with fights!
These guys were 24 or 25 years old. They were seniors at most, and I was kind of smirking as I was thinking about fighting them. One of the guys came up first and the others kind of surrounded me.
There were three of them and it was not a good situation to be in. I suspected they weren’t going to fight because they just didn’t have that look in their eyes. Usually, I can tell when somebody’s amping themselves up to fight me. They get aggressive or shout, but these dorks were mostly just talking.
The biggest one was to my right and when he came up I said, “Dude, chill out!” as I shoved him in the shoulder. I remember he was so surprised because I was way smaller than him. He was probably around 240 lbs. And I am around 190 lbs. There was quite a significant size difference. Height difference as well. I’m 5’11 and he was about 6’2.
But as I shoved him, I looked into his eyes. I had that look like, “Are you ready to do this? I will devour you! This is where you will die!” I had that killer look in my eye and the dude could see it. I was willing to bite his neck or something if he tried to punch me.
He just looked at me with fear. And this guy was 240 lbs. He was big, but he grew up in suburbia. I grew up in kind of a ghetto for at least a few years. Heard gunshots. I’m wasn’t afraid. I was raised in a violent household. My dad was very physically and emotionally abusive. So I’ve been beat up so much like, it’s just ridiculous. Fights don’t really scare me.
My dad broke my nose. He took my hand and stuck it on a hot plate and burned my hand a couple of times. He beat me with some fishing poles and basically broke them against my back.
What are these guys gonna do to me? What are these little boys gonna do to me?
Just seeing that and him not having experienced any form of violence just scared the shit out of him. And he moved out of my way without any problem. I pushed him because he was coming very close to my face. He didn’t retaliate at all.
I was trying to control the distance. They teach you that in fighting. Keep your distance. Because if he’s very close to your face, especially with his hands, he could go for a knockout and you won’t be able to defend yourself in time. You’ll be too slow. So that’s why I shoved him. And then I moved past him, because like I said, they were kind of surrounding me.
It’s that experience of overcoming violence that helped me. I don’t know if you have ever had encounters with men who have been to jail for a long time, like three years and up. They just have this different energy to them. It’s like a dark energy, and if they look at you, there’s no doubt in their mind that if they wanted to, they could hurt you. And while I’m nowhere near that level, I can hold my ground when threatened.
But these guys were basically some young suburban kids that had perfect childhoods and never had to go through any adversity. This guy never had to fight a real fight in his life. Probably because he was so big and built that nobody ever challenged him. But me just looking at him and being so sure of myself, scared him. I just had that belief in myself that I could take him and he knew that. He saw it.
It is the same thing with pickup. You have to have a confidennt look in your eye. You have to have that certainty. And the girl can tell. She can feel it on you. And this is what you’re striving for. This is why you should welcome rejection. It builds up that tough skin. That alligator skin where you just do not give a shit what somebody says because you know you’re not going to be here forever.
You’re here for a good 80 years. But how much of that is productive time? Probably up until your sixties. And then what? Retirement?
Just getting bored and sitting around the house, watching TV shows, not being able to travel because you’re sick or some other bullshit? Hanging out playing bingo?
You better make the best use of your time NOW. These are your prime years! Up until you reach your late fifties. Then you’re kind of out the game.
So get on it! Get on it right now. Build that Hanzo sword, take those rejections. They are like hammers forging you into a champion.
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