What I Learned Being in the Seduction Community for 17 Years

Today I’m going to tell you about what I learned from being in the seduction community for over 17 years.

Now, I’m not going to be going over techniques or strategies on picking up women. I’m going to be covering BIG picture stuff. These are important lessons that you’d normally learn over time, but I am going to freely share them with you because I think they will greatly benefit you on your journey.

I’m going to be going over 5 of them today and I think I’m going to do a part 2 in the future because I have other things I’ve learned that I want to share. Do read the entire article because they get better as I progress through them.

Ok so let’s go over lesson number 1!

1. Learning to Pick-Up (or Seduce Women) is a Skill

Just like you can get good at a sport or playing a musical instrument, you can get good at picking up women. It is completely learnable. Take it from me, a guy who started out as a 21 year old virgin and has slept with over 103 women (I stopped keeping track at 103).

The more you practice, the better you will get.

Now why do you think society avoids teaching you how to pick-up women? Like, why isn’t this skill set talked about in mainstream media? Why isn’t it ever taken seriously by any of the new stations doing a piece on the seduction community?

Well, because YOU learning how to pick up women goes against society’s and women’s best interests.

I mean, are you going to get married to ONE woman if you can learn to sleep with dozens of women?

Nope!

It’s that whole, “Why buy the cow if I can get the milk for free?”

Now, although this is a learnable skill, that doesn’t mean it’s an easy skill to learn. You have to learn to remove all kinds of mental blocks and self-imposed limitations as well as learning how to open, spark attraction, create a connection, build comfort, isolate, etc.

And learning how to seduce women takes time. Years I would say. At a minimum at least 2 years.

Well most guys aren’t that patient or tenacious. Because in order to get really good, you have to really want it.

And most guys don’t.

They’re dabblers. They try it for a few months and then they give up. This is why there are so few great pick-up artists. There’s maybe like 100 out of the thousands and thousands of guys that join the community every year.

90% of the guys that come into the community are gone within 1 year.

So if you have decided that you want to have sex with the hottest girls around, realize that it’s going to take effort. Lot’s of going out and talking to women. The more hours you put into it, the faster you’ll get better at it.

2. There is No Magic Bullet to Stop Rejection

There is no technique, system, method, hack, trick, product, or seminar that will help you avoid getting rejected by women.

No matter how good you get, you will still have women that reject you.

The reasons women will still reject you are MANY…she could have a boyfriend, she could be a lesbian, she might have recently lost a loved one, maybe she doesn’t like the way you look, maybe she is in a bad mood, maybe she is a gold-digger and only talks to rich guys. The reasons do NOT matter.

Most are OUT of your control!

The point is that you should get used to the idea that some women will reject you. In most cases, you will NEVER know why. Some women will reject you no matter how good your game gets.

If you are not getting rejected, you are not approaching women with the intention of sleeping with them.

Most guys in the seduction community aren’t approaching women. I know that for a fact!

Out of the ones that are approaching women, a lot are hiding their dicks. In other words, they aren’t letting their intentions be known. The guys that aren’t getting rejected aren’t letting the women know that they are sexually interested in them. These women think that guy wants to be their friend or something along those lines.

The guys that are approaching and making their sexual intentions known are getting some rejections.

So why I am telling you this?

Well because I think it’s incredibly liberating!

By knowing that a few women are going to reject you no matter what you do, you won’t take rejection personally because EVERYONE gets rejected. Even the top seduction gurus get rejected and I would argue the gurus get even more rejection because they are approaching women full time because it’s their job.

Now don’t use this as an excuse to not learn game, saying things like “What’s the point of learning game if I’m still going to get rejected?”

The point of learning game is that your rejection rate will dramatically decrease as your game gets better.

Going back to point 1. This is a skill set, just like basketball. The more you practice dribbling, defense, free throws, etc. The better you’ll do when playing basketball.

Same thing applies here. The more you practice opening, attraction, comfort, etc. The better you will become at seducing women so you will eventually get fewer and fewer rejections.

And when I say rejections, some guys may be thinking that I mean, the woman slaps you or throws a drink in your face…the kind of dramatic stuff that happens in movies. A rejection just means she tells you she’s not interested or says she has a boyfriend or that she’s busy. So do NOT be afraid of rejection. I’ve been gaming for over a decade and the worst rejection I got was a girl telling me to “Fuck off”

It wasn’t a big deal.

3. Everyone Has Strengths and Weaknesses In This Game

And those strengths and weaknesses do affect your results.

If you stay in this community long enough, you will come across the “looks debate.”

“Does being better looking help you get better results?”

Now the seduction coaches, who are all trying to sell you their products, seminars, coaching, etc. will say, “Looks don’t matter.” But that’s not true.

They are lairs.

They say that because they want YOU to believe it so that you buy their seduction products. They want to give you hope because if you are not good looking and you think that looks is all that matters, then you will never buy their ebooks, DVDs, bootcamps, etc.

Now having said that, I think that looks don’t matter as much as most guys think they do.

Guys think that girls look at them in the same way they look at girls.

So for us guys, a girl’s looks is 90% of her value. At least initially, like that’s how we get attracted. But for girls your looks are only about 20%. There is an exception to this rule, like if your looks are the ONLY thing they have to go on, like on Tinder or Bumble for example, in that case then it goes up to a similar 90%.

But from what I’ve observed, being good looking helps because it will give you more opportunities to talk to girls. Like if you go to a bar or nightclub, you will have more girls that give you eye contact or approach invitations if you are a good looking guy.

Your good looks will also help in the first few minutes of the interaction because the girl will be more receptive when you approach her. She will allow you to talk to her and she will listen to what you have to say. She will also tolerate more social mistakes, like if you say something that’s off, she will give you more of a break. This is the area where being better looking helps.

If you are an average looking guy, you will get less eye contact and the girl will generally not be as receptive to your approach unless you have good game.

Now if you don’t have any game and you are just a good-looking dork…in that case your looks really won’t matter, because you will mess up eventually and the girl will get tired of you or bored and she’ll leave.

However, if you are a good looking guy with game, you are going to do better than an average looking guy with game. It’s just how it is.

The way I would compare the looks vs game debate, and I haven’t seen anyone in the seduction community make this analogy, is by using a basket ball analogy. The good-looking guy is the basketball equivalent of a 7’1 naturally athletic basketball player with good reach who has played some basketball.

Now an average looking guy is the equivalent of a 6’5 basketball player with average reach who has played some basketball. Can the 6’5 player beat the 7’1 player in a 1-on-1, sure if he has a great skill set and has practiced way more than the 7’1 guy, but he will still have to work a bit harder because he is at a disadvantage height and reach wise.

This is why I throw-up in my throat ever time some seduction guru says, “Looks don’t matter.” Or “Your height” or “Your weight” do NOT matter.

They do MATTER.

Not to the extent most guys think, but a tall good-looking guy is generally going to do better than a short average looking guy.

But everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Some of you are tall, some are good looking, some have a lot of money, some like myself are very funny, some have a natural confidence, etc. The point is to capitalize on your strengths and use those. That’s how you will start getting results.

Capitalize on your strengths initially as you work to improve your weak areas over time.

4. The More You Approach the Better Your Results

This game is very similar to cold calling in sales. You are going up to women you don’t know with the purpose of demonstrating how amazing you are.

At first you are going to suck, but gradually you will refine your delivery, body language, tone, etc. And you will get better.

Still, you won’t be making many sales if you only make 2-3 approaches a week.

You have to approach a lot of women not only in order to improve your game, but in order to have sex regularly. I can not tell you the number of women that have stopped wanting to hang out with me bc I didn’t want a relationship. Especially here in Eastern Europe. The majority want a serious boyfriend and if I stop going up to meet new girls, eventually the others drop off.

And this is not just limited to Eastern Europe.

If you want variety and a great sex life you have to be approaching regularly.

5. Focus on Being Unique

This is a very important lesson and one that will get you so much ass if you apply it.

In this game as much as in life you want to stand out from the crowd in a GOOD way. In a way that get’s people, but especially girls to notice you.

A basic example of this is in the way you dress. Your clothing. So if everyone at the bar you go to is wearing plaid fleece shirts, you want to make sure you are wearing something different. Maybe a nice leather jacket or a sports coat. Something that sets you apart, but is not completely over the top. So you wouldn’t wear a tuxedo or a clown suit or something crazy like that.

Your clothing should differentiate you from the crowd, but not in a way to where they ostracize you.

This is where the concept of peacocking comes in. Peacocking in the seduction community means dressing for attention, but most guys misunderstand it and they dress in a way that is bizarre and over the top…they look like they are part of Marilyn Manson band or something. This is the wrong way to peacock. I’m going to cover the right way in a future post, but for now, just understand this concept.

And I don’t want you to limit it to clothes, you want to be unique in other areas too. For example, in the United States you want to have a more manly and alpha attitude because they are so many beta soyboys around.

While in Eastern Europe, there are a lot more macho guys, so taking a bit of a more chill laid back approach works better (that’s been my experience at least).

So keep this concept in mind. You don’t want to be seen as just another one of the herd. You want to differentiate yourself, but without making people think you are too out there.

That’s all I have for now. Stay tuned for a future post with the other lessons I’ve learned.