The 21 Biggest Dating Mistakes Men Make Early On

I’ve been in and out of the dating scene for over fifteen years now and I continually see men making the same mistakes over and over and over and you guessed it – over again.

Most of them aren’t bad guys, but they are a little too naive and more than a bit misguided by the propaganda that is spread forth by our woman worshiping society. I’m talking to you Western guys!

I’m sick of good men flinging themselves off the proverbial dating cliff into the arms of loneliness, despair, and yes, even masturbation.

I want to lead them back on the path of hope and help them preserve not only their sanity but hopefully their relationships.

What can I say, I’m a humanitarian.

If you ever been flaked-on, dumped, or friend-zoned then this post might be just what you need to figure out what went wrong.

Are you guilty of making any of these dating mistakes?

Dating Mistake #21: Not Screening Women – Some men fail from the very start of their relationships. These guys lack the ability to filter out the women they are incompatible with. They try to “make it work” with the particular women they are after even though the women may be completely wrong for them. Most of the time, these men suffer because they find the women physically attractive and fear they will not find any other women that are as beautiful as the women they are seeing.

Solution: You must be willing to end your interactions with women whom you feel you are incompatible. If a woman displays disrespectful behavior, is rude, or has inappropriate beliefs and value systems – you must be willing to stop pursuing her, regardless of how attractive she is. If you want to avoid drama, headaches, and heartache – always be willing to walk away from a relationship that does not fulfill your needs.

Dating Mistake #20: Pursuing Only One Woman at a Time – Most men make the mistake of pursuing only one woman at a time. By investing all their money, time, and energy into going after one woman, they become very dependent on a particular outcome. If that outcome is never reached, they end up disappointed or hurt.

Solution: During the initial stages of dating, you should be out meeting multiple women. By going after several women at once you will increase your chances of finding one that shares your values and beliefs. At the same time, this will also keep you from falling into the trap of obsessing over just one woman – which is a trap few men escape emotionally intact.

Dating Mistake #19: Bringing Up Past Relationships – Men who’ve had painful past relationships want to talk about them. Often times these men speak of their exes with negativity. The bitter attitudes these guys display about their past relationships turn off the women that hear their stories.

Solution: Do not bring up past relationships. If the woman you’re seeing does broach the subject, do not talk negatively about any of your exes. Keep the conversation brief and general, then move on to a different subject.

Dating Mistake #18: Being Too Rigid – A mistake a lot of men make is that they treat the women they are after like their business colleagues. They expect women to be punctual, obedient, and structured. These men expect their rules to be obeyed without exceptions. They easily get flustered when things aren’t going their way.

Solution: Be calm, laid-back, and positive throughout all your interactions with women – especially when they break your rules! If a woman is late, you want to sub-communicate to her that her action was not acceptable, but you want to do it in a playful way. Let her know that you noticed it, but you are not upset about it.

Dating Mistake #17: Submissiveness – Being too agreeable demonstrates to her that you have no opinions of your own or that you do not stand up for what you believe in. A woman wants a MAN that will be a bit of CHALLENGE for her, not a man that will bend over backwards to please her.

Solution: Think for yourself and do not submit to a woman’s every request just because you think that will make her happy. Uphold your values and beliefs. When interacting with a woman, share your own thoughts. If you disagree with anything she says, feel free to let her know in a socially acceptable manner. Don’t be controlling, but stay in control.

Dating Mistake #16: Neediness – Neediness is any behavior that can be classified as clingy, possessive, demanding, or controlling. Having any form of neediness is a blatant giveaway that you are not used to being around women. Displaying neediness is one of the worst things you can do around a woman. It’s a major turn-off!

Solution: Realize that you can never control anyone but yourself. Putting pressure on women to act in a certain way, just makes them want to avoid you. Learn to let go and relax. Concentrate on being laid back and carefree whenever you are around women. A woman will never be yours if you need her to be happy. Work on cultivating happiness in yourself without needing a woman to help you.

Dating Mistake #15: Making Excuses for Shortcomings – Do not make excuses for any shortcomings you have around women. Making excuses won’t change how these women feel about you and your excuses will only make you seem like a bigger loser in their eyes.

Solution: Work on improving yourself in the areas you feel you need improvement, but never make apologies for things that are out of your control. If anyone thinks you are too short, bald, or fat – do not make excuses for yourself. Do not become insecure about your shortcomings. Treat other people’s comments as though they are telling you something you already know. Do NOT become emotional. Do not let their comments unbalance you. The best thing to do is to ignore the comment and move on. If that doesn’t work, agree and exaggerate. Only apologize for mistakes you’ve make, not for characteristics you lack.

Dating Mistake #14: Seeking Approval – Many men seek the approval of women. These men try to say the things women want to hear and do the things women want them to do. They avoid saying or doing anything that might cause any tension. The problem is that these approval seeking men become predictable because women learn to anticipate their actions.

Solution: Stop caring about what a woman thinks of you. Don’t say or do things just to get a woman to like you. If a woman wants you to do something that you wouldn’t normally do for a friend, decline her request.

Dating Mistake #13: Buying Things – As a man, you should not constantly be spending money on a woman. Buying a woman flowers, gifts, dinners, and trips sub-communicates to her that you don’t think you are a man of value. She will think you feel you have to compensate for your insecurities by spending lots of money proving yourself to her.

Solution: Don’t buy a woman drinks, flowers, or jewelry unless she has earned them. Don’t pay for everything when you are out with her. If you are going to a bar, volunteer to buy the first round – tell her she can buy the second and stick by what you say. If you invited her somewhere, pay for that event. Don’t be cheap, but at the same time don’t take a woman to expensive places and spend your money on expensive things.

Dating Mistake #12: Giving Too Many Compliments – Giving women too many compliments is the equivalent of buying them things – only instead of giving them tangible goods you are providing an overabundance of validation. Women are complimented constantly on their strengths. If a woman is beautiful, she knows it – men have frequently complimented her on her looks.

Solution: Use compliments sparingly. Give a compliment only when you feel it’s genuine and on a unique characteristic the woman posses. If in doubt, never compliment a woman on her appearance or looks. Instead, choose a personality trait that you admire in her and compliment her on that.

Dating Mistake #11: Bragging – Bragging is an insecure way used to try to prove to another person that you are a person of value. A man that brags is usually overcompensating for his insecurities or a lack in his personality.

Solution: Learn to rely on your own validation, not the validation of others. Let your car, house, wealth, and accomplishments speak for themselves. A woman will be more impressed if she sees something you posses, rather than hears you bragging about it. Bragging is not an effective way to demonstrate you are a person of worth because it is too overt.

Dating Mistake #10: Trying Too Hard – A lot of men try too hard when they are with a woman they like. These men try to do all the right things. They go out of their way to make sure everything is perfect. Women can sense this and become turned off by it.

Solution: When you are interacting with a woman that you find exceptional, the best way to be is how you normally are around your friends. Treat her like a friend and don’t go out of your way to put her up on a pedestal. A beautiful woman wants to be treated like a normal person, not a goddess.

Dating Mistake #9: Being Predictable– Being predictable is boring. Women do not want to date men that have no imagination. Women want excitement – they want to have fun.

Solution: Avoid the typical dinner and a movie date. Instead, invite a woman to an outdoor concert, the beach, an intimate bar, or a fun event where you can have an interesting conversation with her. Talk about your aspirations, passions, and life experiences. Share things about yourself, but not everything.

Dating Mistake #8: Revealing Feelings Too Soon – If a guy likes a woman, he will want to tell her how much he likes her before he even fully knows her. A woman wants to know that you do not fawn over every beautiful face you see. She wants to feel that she is unique and that she has earned your emotions.

Solution: Do not tell a woman how much you like her until you have been intimate with her. By then she should already know you like her without you having to verbalize it.

Dating Mistake #7: Asking How a Date Is Going – Asking a woman to tell you how a date is going lets her know that you are not a man that can read in-between the lines. A woman wants a man that knows what is going on. She wants a guy who knows how to read the signals she’s sending out. She doesn’t want to explain what you are doing wrong and what you are doing right – that just ruins the experience for her. By asking her how she thinks the date is going, you are sub-communicating that you are insecure and lack confidence in your abilities to keep a woman’s interest.

Solution: Instead of asking her what she thinks of the date, assume she is having a great time. If she isn’t, she will let you know by ending the date early, telling you straight to your face, or leaving to go home.

Dating Mistake #6: Failing Tests – Women test men for strength by giving them tests. These tests are meant to unbalance a man and make him emotional. In a few cases, a test can even be one of the signs that a girl likes you.

Solution: Never become angry or emotional when a woman tests you. Don’t let anything she says affect you. Stay calm and relaxed either by making a joke out of the whole test or by ignoring it altogether. If she pushes it, take a moment and respond in a relaxed non-nonchalant way.

Dating Mistake #5: Not Leading the Interaction – In most interactions, the woman is waiting for you to take the lead. You must know how to lead her from the initial meet all the way through the rest of your relationship with her. She wants to feel that you are a man that knows what he wants and knows how to get it. A woman wants to be able to count on you to handle everything without her having to walk you through it. It is your responsibility to know where you are leading her.

Solution: Lead your interactions with women. Know where the interactions are going. If you are taking a woman somewhere – know the place you are going to, how long you are staying, and what you will do while there. If you fail to lead the interaction, you will be putting a lot of responsibility in the woman’s hands. She will not be able to lead you, because that is not her role. Without your lead, the interaction will lose its direction or fizzle out.

Dating Mistake #4: Not Escalating Physical Intimacy – Men often go out on date without knowing how to progress from cutting the physical space between themselves and the women they are after. They don’t know how to transition from conversation into physical intimacy. This leaves a large awkward chasm to be crossed later. If the chasm is never crossed, these men will be sent into the friend zone due to physical incompatibility.

Solution: Become comfortable touching women in appropriate ways. Use socially acceptable ways of touching such as high fives, elbow bumps, soft hip checks, and hugs to put women you’re after at ease around you. Physical touch is important in attracting women.

Dating Mistake #3: Not Giving Enough Space– A lot of men don’t give the women they are after enough space for attraction to grow. These men don’t allow time for the women they are after to miss them. Constantly texting, e-mailing, or calling women just annoys them. Some of these men also pester the women about when they can meet up again. This sub-communicates neediness, insecurity, and lack of options on the part of these men.

Solution: Instead of keeping in constant contact with the woman you are after, give her a break. Allow her the room she needs to think about you and ponder why you didn’t ask to see her again. Give her time to wonder what you are up to. You will be on her mind and when you do call, she’ll be glad you did.

Dating Mistake #2: Not Having a Higher Purpose – A woman does not want a man who lives solely for her. She wants a man who has a goal he aspires to achieve in life. By having a higher purpose a man does not become solely obsessed with her. She feels that he has a higher calling.

Solution: Let the woman you are with know what your purpose in life is and how you aspire to fulfill it. Let her know what you want to achieve in your lifetime and what you plan to leave as your legacy. It is not important that you achieve your legacy, just that you know what it is and that you work towards it.

Dating Mistake #1: Not Seeking Help – Not getting the help you need is the biggest mistake you can make in regards to getting better with women. As men, we want to be independent, but why go through pain and suffering when you don’t have to? What is so wrong about learning how to be good with women from a man who has been in the exact same situation as you?

Solution: Start reading this blog and learn all you can from a guy who’s been through it all. Apply everything you learn here in the real world and stick with it. It may take you a few months or a few years, but if you continually go out and practice – you will learn how to attract women!!!